Making your relationship work at university

Throughout my time at university, I have made friends with people who are single, in new relationships, in long distance relationships… you name it! They all face their own trials and tribulations alongside student life.

For those of you that are concerned about making your relationship work at university, I thought I would share my own experience and advice on the matter.

I have been with my boyfriend Alex for nearly 5 years now, we met through school and a drama club we attended together in our home town. When the time came to decide on university there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to go straight away. Alex had three years out of education after sixth form in order to work and save, so deciding for him was more difficult.

My first tip would be to make sure that you definitely want to go to university as the last thing you want is to resent your partner for pressuring you into going at the wrong time.

Regardless of whether we both went or one of us stayed, we were always going to try and make it work but eventually the decision was made that we were both going to go.

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I wanted to study Psychology and he wanted to train to become a primary school teacher so going to the same university didn’t seem like an option and we didn’t want to compromise our own decisions because of the other person.

As a result, we decided that we would each make our 5 choices via UCAS and not tell each other what they were until we had firmed our top choice. I couldn’t believe it when we had both chosen Worcester!

This leads me to my next tip – don’t compromise on your university as this is the place you are going to spend the next three, four or five years of your life. It’s okay to be selfish on this one, as being content in your choice will only make it easier to maintain a happy relationship.

We both moved to Worcester but decided to live in separate halls which was a great decision as it was just like being at home – we saw each other enough but not too much and it allowed us to make our own friendship circles.

This relates to my third tip on making it work at uni – find a balance between spending time apart and together. You don’t want to be that couple constantly in each other’s pocket but you also need to make enough time for each other. Only you know what is a good balance for your relationship at home, so make sure you find one at University too.

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Coming here with Alex actually made the process of moving away from home a lot easier as we could support each other and there was some familiarity among the chaos of Fresher’s week. We both finished our first year with good grades and now live in the same house for second year so I guess we are doing something right!

I hope this blog has given you some insight into what being in a relationship is like at university and helps you decide what is best if you are a perspective student.

Some additional tips to take away about making it work at uni would be;

  1. Find a balance – give each other space to find their feet but also make time for one another.
  2. Trust – trust is essential, without it making it work will be difficult
  3. Don’t rush – just because you are at uni together doesn’t mean you have to move in together or that you shouldn’t. Do what’s best for you!

Meg x